• me: i don't even care. i'm not going to talk about this anymore.
  • ...
  • me: and you know what else? [2000 word rant]
  • ryanjjohn:

    Every day I struggle between “I wanna look good naked” and “treat yo self.”



    i always think “if people want to talk to me they will” which is my reasoning for never really starting conversations so i’m permanently thinking no one wants to talk but what if they’re sat there thinking the same and it’s just this cycle of silence that never gets broken because i’m too stubborn to just put myself out there 


    I’m sat here genuinely in tears because

    1) I tried on a dress that I hadn’t worn for a few years and it didn’t even do up.

    2) It kind of hit me that as much as we argue a large proportion of the time, I do love my sister and I’ll really miss her when she leaves for uni on Saturday.

    Jeez, I’ve not even had a drink.

    When even Beyoncé feels the need to photoshop herself a thigh gap you have to wonder what hope it there is for anyone to ever feel confident about their body.





    This time last year I was unemployed, broke, and suicidal.

    Today, I just got the keys to my first house.

    Give it time.

    every time I see this, I reblog it.

    i was thinking about this post today

    I’m queuing this post for next year


    So I spent 3/4 of the day at work today with two people. Soon after one of them left, they posted a Facebook status about having had ‘a whole day of bonding’ with this other person. Innocent enough I guess, but the fact that I was with them for 80% of the time was a bit of a snub.
    But what immediately came to mind on seeing that was the memory of a group of people I used to eat lunch with in school years ago- NOT my friends as it later turned out, and the way they’d count the number of people in the group, for whatever reason, and always be a number short. Or the time when everyone bar me and another girl went somewhere, and said other girl protested “don’t leave me on my own”. RIGHT in front of me, like seriously. The whole lot of them were either blatant bullies or accomplices for not defending me, but the feelings remain long after I’ve forgotten most of their last names.

    But it got me wondering: why do people like me end up treated like this? Why are we literally forgotten from situations? Sure, we over analyse social situations all the time, but when you’re deliberately missed out of something, blatantly, there’s no room for interpretation. What is it about ‘us’ that causes this? Is being quiet in a group really worthy of being wiped from memory? Do people just not notice you unless you’re piping up with a comment every 30 seconds? Or is a simple case of picking on the weak, bullying because they have to bully someone and you won’t fight back?

    What is about me, or people like me, that’s made us targets our whole lives? I’d genuinely like to know.

    Anonymous: Do you ever think you'll stop drawing fanart? No offense it just seems like the kind of thing you're supposed to grow out of. I'm just curious what your plans/goals are since it isn't exactly an art form that people take seriously.



    Ah, fanart. Also known as the art that girls make.

    Sad, immature girls no one takes seriously. Girls who are taught that it’s shameful to be excited or passionate about anything, that it’s pathetic to gush about what attracts them, that it’s wrong to be a geek, that they should feel embarrassed about having a crush, that they’re not allowed to gaze or stare or wish or desire. Girls who need to grow out of it.

    That’s the art you mean, right?

    Because in my experience, when grown men make it, nobody calls it fanart. They just call it art. And everyone takes it very seriously.

    It’s interesting though — the culture of shame surrounding adult women and fandom. Even within fandom it’s heavily internalized: unsurprisingly, mind, given that fandom is largely comprised by young girls and, unfortunately, our culture runs on ensuring young girls internalize *all* messages no matter how toxic. But here’s another way of thinking about it.

    Sports is a fandom. It requires zealous attention to “seasons,” knowledge of details considered obscure to those not involved in that fandom, unbelievable amounts of merchandise, and even “fanfic” in the form of fantasy teams. But this is a masculine-coded fandom. And as such, it’s encouraged - built into our economy! Have you *seen* Dish network’s “ultimate fan” advertisements, which literally base selling of a product around the normalization of all consuming (male) obsession? Or the very existence of sports bars, built around the link between fans and community enjoyment and analysis. Sport fandom is so ingrained in our culture that major events are treated like holidays (my gym closes for the Super Bowl) — and can you imagine being laughed at for admitting you didn’t know the difference between Supernatural and The X Files the way you might if you admit you don’t know the rules of football vs baseball, or basketball?

    "Fandom" is not childish but we live in a culture that commodified women’s time in such away that their hobbies have to be "frivolous," because "mature" women’s interests are supposed to be caretaking, via marriage, children, and the lives of those within an imagined (generally nuclear) family unit: things that allow others to continue their own special interests, while leaving women without a space of their own.

    So think about what you’re actually saying when you call someone “too old” for fandom. Because you’re suggesting they are “too old” for a consuming hobby, and I challenge you to answer — what do you think they should be doing instead?





    thank you and bless you